Today is Earth Day - so Happy Earth Day to you. Are you going to party like it’s 1999? I am. Actually, I am going to go home, feed and bathe kids, do homework and go for a jog - so it’s kind of like partying, except that it totally is NOT. I did take a poll in the office today of what everyone was going to do nice for the planet on Earth Day, and none of them had anything great to say. I vowed not to use toilet paper ALL DAY LONG. That is quite a sacrifice on my part. My co-worker Jeff said that when he got home tonight and went to go “fap” (his favorite word) - he would make sure to do so in the dark and not use any light-bulbs. Nick said that he would not flush any toilets and therefore would be pissing in the front of the office all day long. Me and my fellow co-workers… we are givers!!!

I did want to go ahead and suggest something great for you to do on Earth Day, you know, if you feel like contributing to the cause. You can all make a nice donation to me so that I can trade in my Murano and get the 2008 Tahoe Hybrid - seriously… I want that effing truck!

Isn’t it pretty? And good for the environment too. And better on gas. Ooooh Aaaah! Too bad they start at $50K - I am going to have to wait… unless you guys totally come through for me!