My co-worker Nick says A LOT of stupid shit, and I do mean A LOT… but it’s not his fault, he is retarded and has zero training.  Despite that, we still like him.

While in my office commenting on my weightloss efforts:

Nick:
You look like you have lost some weight, you don’t look so bloated.
Misty:
What did you just say?  Did you seriously just call me bloated?
Nick:
I don’t mean that in a bad way… you know what I mean, you don’t look as swollen.
Misty:
Seriously Nick, you should just stop there, you are not making this any better.
Nick:
*laughing*
Misty:
I’m sure the ladies are constantly throwing their panties at you for the way you swoon them with your words!

While in another co-worker’s office telling him about the above conversation with Nick:

Nick:
I didn’t mean it in a bad way!
Misty:
How could it NOT be taken in a bad way?  You should NEVER use the words bloated or swollen with a lady.
Nick:
Yeah, but I don’t consider you a lady… you’re one of the guys that happens to have boobs and a vagina.
Misty:
Awesome.  Again, thanks dickface.
Jeff:
Jesus dude… *slapping forehead with his hand*

UPDATE:

After emailing him the link to my blog post letting him know that I created a section on my blog just for him and the crap he says:

Nick:
I can’t believe you put that up there and seriously used my picture for it.
Misty:
Well you called me bloated, swollen and basically called me a dude.
Nick:
I could have called you an ugly dude… I mean seriously, let’s try and count our blessings Misty!