Where should I begin my post about our day in Washington D.C.?  We got there Tuesday night in record-breaking time, thanks to my “bat-out-of-hell” driving style.  Of course that was after torrential downpours, stops at drug stores and trips back to the house for forgotten items.  We stopped back by my house to pick up something and when I got back out to the car, Kaiden started throwing a fit that she wanted me to get her camera, after a small fight and her starting to cry, I ran back into the house again to get it.  Shelly said that the second I turned around, Kaiden stopped the fit smiled and looked at her and said “I’m not even really crying – works every time!” – Little Shit!  The kids fell asleep on the way, just to wake up and have a second wind once we hit the hotel.  Once we finally got settled in and got the kids settled for the evening, I was lucky enough to learn that Shelly likes to sleep in her underwear and ONLY her underwear, and she does not care who is around witnessing that fact about her.  Needless to say, Shelly and I are quite a bit closer than we were prior to this trip.

Chatty was supposed to meet us at the hotel, but because her car was having issues, we had to meet her at the zoo.  My dumb-ass did not bother printing out directions to the zoo, since I thought we were going to be following Chatty there – so of course we went the wrong way and were REALLY late meeting her there.  The zoo is gorgeous and huge, man is it huge.  Of course Kaiden had seen cotton candy on our way to find Chatty, so the first hour at the zoo was basically Kaiden pouting until we got back to that cotton candy.  You would have thought that we drove three hours just for cotton candy the way she was acting.  She cannot remember how to spell “charge” – but she can tell you how to get back to the other side of the zoo without a map to get to the cart that has the cotton candy. 

All the animals were out and it was a beautiful day, so they were all playful, which made it fun.  We got laughing pretty hard where the Komodo Dragon was, because there was an older woman there that apparently is the “all-knowing” when it comes to Komodo Dragons, so I made it a point to stand next to her at each area she went to and yell to Kaiden “Come here Kaiden look, an alligator” – to which she would snap “It’s NOT an alligator, it is a Komodo Dragon, and they can do way more damage to a human life than an alligator and they are very fast and blah blah blah” – It was hilarious! 

When we finally went and got some lunch, Shelly, Chatty and I sat at one table and our heathen children sat at another.  I am not quite sure how the conversation turned to cleaning up dog poop, but it did and Shelly was describing having to clean up some poop earlier in the week and how it made her puke in her own hands, when all of a sudden, Chatty started getting sick (like you could totally hear it) and basically threw up in her mouth and had to swallow it back down.  I screamed “OKAY ENOUGH” – to get Shelly to stop talking about the dog poop/throw up episode and to stop Chatty from totally puking all over the table, because if Chatty puked, I would puke and then Shelly would puke and the National Zoo would have thrown us out for hosting PukeFest 2007 on their grounds without a permit!

The rest of the day went pretty smooth and at any given time, you could have heard phrases coming from the three of us such as, “Damn that is a nice Beaver – Have you ever touched such a nice Beaver?” and “Kaiden, get down now, do you want your tootie to start bleeding?” – which was me telling her to get off some railing, since she had already racked herself like three times, but I am quite sure the people next to us at the sea lion exhibit did not know that and were wondering why I was talking to my five year old about her tootie bleeding.  All in all it was such a fun day and I am SO glad I got to meet and hang with Chatty; it basically just confirmed that I am as good a judge of character online as I am in person!

Because we are the best planners in the world, our zoo trip ended right at the exact time that all of Washington D.C. was getting off work – so as you can imagine, traffic was lovely.  We drove around for a bit to make sure the kids got to see the Washington Monument, Capitol Building and the White House, and then we got on the road to head home.  I got home by 11:00 last night, which was not too bad, but I am dragging a little ass today – but I am glad that I went.  Click below to see some photos and video footage from the day.

Kaiden and Haley posing near the Panda Bear Exhibit.

Kaiden pouting cause we had not made our way back to the cotton candy cart yet.

The orangutans carried these big pieces of cardboard around over their heads like umbrellas, pretty funny looking.

The tigers were really playful and kept stalking and jumping on each other, it was really cool to watch.

The National Zoo has got some crazy signs all over the place.  This one was in the ladies room and made us all chuckle.

What also made us chuckle was Chatty modeling the latest in women’s fashion, the toilet seat cover.

And here of course is the main attraction - one of the Giant Panda bears eating some bamboo!

Some Video Footage of one of the Pandas in a tree trying to scratch and itch on it’s butt.

Some Video Footage of one of the Pandas eating some bamboo.