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soapboxSUPERSTAR

Nov
17
2006

Corporate Profile

We use Microsoft Sharepoint at work for all of us to stay connected and share information - it’s web based so we can access it from anywhere.  We just updated to the new Beta version and we all received an email from the owner of the company to please log into the new site and update our profiles, which will be used in corporate online meetings, forums, instant messaging, etc. 

I finished mine.  My boss loves me!

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Nov
16
2006

K-Fed’s Next Career Move

This was on College Humor dot Com and I thought is was hilarious, so I am posting it here - your welcome!

He’s lost his sugar mama and his album tanked but he still has to get those limited edition kicks somehow. Who knows, maybe he’ll get a job…

Receptionist at Quest Diagnostic Center

“Yo, this message is for Mr. Fenfang Chow or whatever, this is Kevin at Quest Diagnostics returning your call, it’s about 9:30 on Tuesday in the morning and yo listen Chenchang, Ima be real wit you, cuz I remember you when you came in last Thursday, you was real nice or whatever. Well listen, boo, we got your AIDS test back and you got it bad, dawg, so call a nigga back, catch you later.”







Rite Aid Night Manager

“Look it, Ima be real wit you okay, and I need you to be real wit me so we can get this straightened up, aight? So like I told you you need to fix up the tampons in aisle 6 and then when you didn’t do what I axt you to do, then, you know, Ima be like listen, boo, I gotta do my thang, you know? I’m just doin’ my thang, you know what I’m saying, and I’m just axing you to do your thang, boo, so we can do this right, and make the tampons look fiiine, you feeling me, Edna?”






Tour Guide at Monticello in Charlottesville, Virginia

“Aight kids, follow me through here. Dis room right here is Thomas Jefferson’s library, yo. Dis is where he like read and wrote stuff like the Declaration of Independance or whatever, and you know, Ima be real wit you kids, TJ’s bookroom had like 6,000 books you know what I’m saying, and then he like sold it to Congress in 1815 or whatever after its building and collection were damaged by the British in 1814, forming the nucleus of the Library of Congress yo. Aiight so the next room is the gift shop where ya’ll can by my new single ‘Privilege’.”




Erotic Novelist

“So the real fine bitch wit big titties comes over to him and she was like hey boo Ima be real wit you right now, Ima take off my shirt so we can get it on, and then she, you know, took her shirt off and he could see her titties or whatever and he was like oh shoo girl I can see your titties or whatever and she was like yeah I know whatchu gonna do about it fool and he was like I dunno I guess Ima go over there and you know get down wit you and she was like yeah aight boo you do dat, so then they did it, you know what I’m saying?”










I cannot explain the strange obsession that I seem to have with K-Fed.  Sorry!!!

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Nov
09
2006

Shit I Am Sore!

Yesterday, a girl that I work with and I decided to go see this personal trainer guy.  I had seen his postcard at The Atlanta Bread Company and picked one up.  He was offering a bunch of evaluations and sessions to get people in the door, so we went.  We had to get weighed and measured and then go through and evaluation involving situps, pushups and working out on a stepper.

Today, I cannot move.  I cannot laugh too hard, I cannot lift my arms over my head, I can not bend down to pick things up - NOTHING.  I ran a damn red light today, because I knew if I tried to stop for it, it would hurt me somehow, somewhere.  And this is just from the evaluation.  We get 10 more sessions with him, and I am not going to lie, I am a little bit scared.  He is an ex-drill sergeant and he apparently likes inflicting pain!

Last night I watched An American Haunting, which is based on true events validated by the State of Tennessee of the only case in US History where a spirit or entity caused the death of a man.  It was so-so.  There was sort of a twist at the end that made you sit there and say WTF?  What just happened here? 

Kaiden really wanted to watch it and I told her no and that she needed to go upstairs and get ready for bed, but she kept begging to watch:

KAIDEN: Mommy, PLEASE can I stay down here with you and Kelly and watch.

MOMMY: No Kaiden, Upstairs!!  This movie will give you nightmares!!!

KAIDEN: That will only be for like two weeks mommy, then it will be done and I will be fine!

She knows it all!!!

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Nov
08
2006

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Nov
07
2006

Please Don’t Cancel K-Fed!

You guys know how fond I am of the illustrious K-Fed.  His talent cannot be hidden, but unfortunately there are others out there that do not share my opinion of him (K-Fed and I call them “the haters”).  His concert this past weekend at Webster Hall only had 300 fans (of a possible 1500) show up.  He reportedly had to delay his show almost three hours trying to wait it out and give the fans that may have been running late the chance to show up.  He truly is a thoughtful guy.

But now I fear that his big concert debut here is in jeopardy and Dena and I were planning on going.  Why is it in jeopardy?  Because apparently Brittney filed for divorce today.  DAMMIT Brittney, couldn’t you have waited a few more days to file so that the good people of Norfolk and Virginia Beach would not miss out on this ONCE IN A LIFETIME concert event?  I mean seriously…who wants to miss K-Fed at The NorVa (which like Webster Hall also has a capacity of 1500 average-sized people)?  To be able to say that you were one of the 97 that showed up - it is a memory that would last a lifetime, and at only $12.00 per ticket, a cheap memory at that!!!

Now what am I going to do Sunday night if he cancels because of his upcoming divorce?

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