A collection of thoughts and other stuff not worthy of a full post.

I thought I would post my usual Saturday’s Sundries post, since my slack-ass did not post it on Saturday! So what if it’s Monday! So, lets get started, shall we?

Last week, Kaiden fell at school and banged herself up pretty bad - her whole elbow and knee on one side were pretty bloody. My child does not take pain too well and always milks it for ALL it’s worth. She would not let me take the bandaids off for like five days. Finally I got her to take them off in the bathtub and told her they had to stay off so the cuts could heal. After bath and pajamas, we went downstairs to watch some T.V. Kaiden starts gagging and dry heaving (the child has zero gag reflex and pukes at the drop of a hat) and screaming “Oh God, what’s that smell? Mommy do you smell it? What is it?” I could not smell anything. Then she screams “Oh it’s my boo-boos mommy, why do they stink so bad?” She came over to me and it took everything in me not to puke too - they stunk cause she would not take those damn bandaids off. We had to dab perfume around the perimeter of the boo-boos so that we could tolerate her funky stench till they aired out - blech! Just thought I would share!!!

Does anyone else suffer from Blog Guilt? Good lord people, I have been slack at posting and reading and for some reason I feel guilty as hell. I have been legitimately busy lately and really have not had the time, but geesh - the guilt!!!

On Saturday, Dena and I took the kids to the Zoo. Ashton has been really in to animals lately and I wanted him to be able to see them. Ethan and Kaiden ran around like out of control monkey’s and did not listen to a word we said all day. They also had quite the lover’s spat, which you can read about here. All in all it was a great day! Seriously - go read about the fight, it was hilarious!

If you are 40 years old, riding a moped down a busy street, wearing a construction hard hat as your helmet and toting a milk crate on the back of the moped to carry your tools in, then you may as well attach a sign that says “I am a big fat loser that got three DUI’s and now I am forced to take the Moped to work!” Just sayin….

On Sunday, it was picture day for Kaiden’s Ballet school. The recital is on the 20th, and we had to go get the photos done yesterday. Here is a picture of her and her friend Haley in there little outfits. Kaiden hates the outfit because it’s blue and not pink - and it is a known fact, according to Kaiden, that pretty ballerinas wear pink! They will be performing a little tap number to “I’m Just a Broadway Baby.” Her class is the second performance in the first act - thank god!!!! So we can book it the hell out of there early!

Okay, I am done!

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When I met Todd, he had a Red-Nosed Staffordshire Terrier named Moses.  Moses was the most well-behaved dog and was just plain awesome in every way!  Moses has always been much more than a dog to Todd, he has been like a child.  Todd picked him out right after he was born, helped wean him and everything.  Once we had been dating a while and were living together, Moses became my steady running partner.  He would run 3 to 5 miles everyday with me and I never needed a leash.  When he saw me put my running shoes on he would go berserk and wait panting at the front door.

One morning, after we got back from running, I let Moses stay in the back yard for a few minutes, while I ran upstairs to get some water.  When I came back down, Moses was gone.  I looked all over the yard for him and called his name like a million times, but he did not respond.  I started to panic.  I spent 45 minutes running through the neighborhood calling for him – this was so not like him and I was really getting scared.  Finally I broke down and decided it was time to wake up Todd and tell him.  I was crying so hard and I went into our bedroom, he woke up immediately and asked what the hell was wrong.

I started crying even harder and could barely talk, I said “I can’t find Moses” – before I could even finish my sentence, Todd was up and running towards his truck, he didn’t even realize that he was completely naked till he was half way there.  He jumped into his truck (after putting on some clothes of course - get your minds out of the gutter) and took off and I continued running through the neighborhood on foot, crying the whole time.  Todd drove up behind me and said he could not find him and to get in the truck and we would go call the local animal shelter.

We got back to the house and went upstairs.  I was still crying like a basket case, cause I had lost Moses, who meant more to Todd than anything.  Cliff (our roommate) heard all the commotion and came out of his room wiping his eyes, muttering “What the hell is going on?”  Before Todd or I could say a word, Moses came out of Cliff’s room yawning.  That damn dog had gone up the back deck stairs, scratched on Cliff’s door and climbed in bed with him.  We had spent two hours freaking out for nothing.  If you could have seen the look on that dog’s face, like “what’s up guys?  what’s wrong” – Ugggghhhhh!  I could have killed him – but was SO DAMN thankful that I had not lost him.  Todd and I may have never ended up getting married if I had!

Moses is almost 11 years old now and is still a big ham.  I read an article this morning about a Pit Bull attack that actually made me smile, because for once it wasn’t the Pit Bull that was being blamed.  It made me think about wonderful Mr. Moses!

In a muddy field just off Salter’s Creek Road in Hampton, Edward Alexander was attacked by three pit bulls. The attack has left him with deep gash wounds on his back, legs, and shoulder.

Alexander is blaming the dogs owner for the attack that occurred last week.But the dogs owner says Alexander was trespassing on private property and that Alexander provoked the attack.

Animal Control agrees with the dog’s owner and says that Alexander provoked the attack.

The health department is making the dogs owner keep the dogs inside for 10 days…as a precaution for rabies. That standard whenever a dog attacks someone.

Sent to me by my good buddy Delane and damn if it isn’t the truth!  Too bad Ashton got treated like the third child!

THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Your Clothes:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?