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Today, after I went home and made myself a sandwich for lunch, I decided to take it to the pool to eat it with Dena, Kaiden and Ethan.  Kaiden stayed home from summer camp today to hang with them.  As we were all sitting around the table, Ethan says “Misty, did you know that a baby can be born with two heads?  I saw it on T.V.”  to which I replied “I did know that, it is called Siamese Twins” and then I immediately followed that with “Ashton was a Siamese twin” - don’t ask me why things like this pop into mine or Dena’s heads… they just do, and we run with them.  So immediately Dena starts backing me on the story.

We explained to Kaiden and Ethan that Ashton was born with a little tiny head next to his regular sized head and that it was his twin brother.  We named him “Champ Scanlon”  We told them that we had to have Champ removed, because their lives would have sucked had we allowed Champ to live.  Champ would have probably had some control over their body and because he would always be jealous of Ashton’s normal sized head, he would do stuff with their body that would embarrass Ashton, like making them fart when Ashton was talking to a pretty girl or something.  We said that Champ would have this whiny little baby voice because of how small his head was that would have gotten on everyone’s nerves.  So we decided to have Champ surgically removed after they were born and we buried him in a shoebox.  Of course they were completely interested and started asking a ton of questions… which we answered very straight-faced:

Q: What did Champ look like?
A: He looked a lot more like Todd.  He looked exactly like Todd, but with a tiny head.

Q: Did it hurt Ashton?  Where did they cut him?
A: It was on the side of his neck, he had a little scar for a while, but it’s gone now.  He was a baby, so he doesn’t remember the surgery.

Q: Did we meet Champ?
A: Yes, You both met him in the hospital before he was cut off.  You were almost 3 years old, so you may not remember.

Q: Do you think Ashton would have loved Champ?
A: No, I think Champ would have been a pain in the neck that got on Ashton’s nerves.  Good riddance to Champ.  He certainly would not have grown up to live up to his name.

Q: Where did you bury Champ?
A: We shoved his tiny head in a shoebox and buried him in a graveyard somewhere… I don’t even remember which one, we did not love Champ very much, so it didn’t matter.

Then I had to leave to go back to work… so I told Dena to keep it going and that we would all discuss it again when I got off work, so I could try and capture some of the great conversation on camera.  Should be a GREAT conversation.

R.I.P Champ… R.I.P.

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