Today is Smizzo’s birthday!!! I am surprised that she is not at the MGM in Vegas right now too hungover to know that it is her birthday, but I am pretty sure she is home.  Please go over and wish her a very Happy Birthday.

Well I successfully found my new crack, I know you care. Have you tried these 5 Hour Energy shots? Screw coffee! These little things are the BOMB! I am hooked, like an inner city hooker is hooked to quickie blowjobs for a couple bucks, like a whiny mid-western kid with family problems is hooked to meth, like an upscale trophy wife is hooked to vodka… you get the point.

They really do work. You feel energy immediately and you do not crash later. They are a little sour, but if you do it like a shot and just get it down, you don’t really notice. I want to make out with the bottle after I drink it… that’s how much I love them. I’m just sayin…

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I will be the first person to say that big old hickeys on your neck are disgusting looking. In my opinion they just look trashy, but that does not mean that I will not give you one if I am challenged to do so! Saturday night I went out for some drinks with Dena and Adam. It was their anniversary, so I joined them for some cocktails. At some point, Dena joked with Adam and said that she was going to give him a hickey for their anniversary. He immediately started talking trash and saying she absolutely would not. At this point, I chimed in and said, “If she wants to give you one, she WILL give you one… what are you going to do about it?” He got all tough and manly and said - “The hell she will - I WILL NOT let her!” and he was backed up by some of the other men at the bar and they all kind of talked about how manly they all were and some other crap that we completely stopped listening to at that point. That is when Dena and I decided that it was going to be our mission to destroy his neck that night… you know, to prove a point, and because we had been drinking and stupid shit like that always seems like a good idea to Dena and I when we are drinking together.

We talked it out and decided we would hold him down and each get one side of his neck, when he was not expecting it. We kept using the phrase “We’ll attack him like Spider Monkeys” and when we said it, Dena would make these little clawing motions with her hands - which kept making me laugh really hard, to the point of almost wetting my pants. And we did attack him like Spider Monkeys… and guess who ended up with hickeys all over his neck? Do not ever tell a woman that she WILL NOT do something… because guess what? She (and her best friend) WILL do it! With a vengeance!

Adam had to play golf the next day, and when he called us while we were at the pool, we asked how his neck was feeling. He said that his golf buddies said “Damn you must have had a good night with the wife!” and he had to explain that one side was from his wife and the other side was from his wife’s best friend. How much do you want to bet that he did not explain to them that we attacked him like drunken spider monkeys in a bar on a mission? I’m pretty sure that he just let the golf guys think that he has got it good like that!  :smug:

Weezer’s video for their new song “Pork and Beans” hit the internets!  I freaking love it!  It has my boy K-Fed in it and Chrissy Crocker and all the rest of the internet superstars!  WOOT!  I love Weezer.  Oh how I love them and Rivers Cuomo is looking sweet with the new stache.  Enjoy!  Oh and have a great holiday weekend - I know I will!!!

P.S. Did you catch my favorite unicorn pal at the end?  Look for him! - “CHARLIE!!!”