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Today was another crappy weather day.  My kids have been stuck indoors all weekend.  Kaiden did get to go to the Children’s Museum today, and Ashton went into work for a bit with me, but that was it.  I am ready for the nice Spring weather to return.  I am tired from doing a whole lot of nothing today, so I have posted and now I am going to sleep.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a little better.

Apparently my buddy at the diving company is in a good mood again today. I just got an email from him with the title “Your Friday Flash Dance” - and he has found an even better stripper to photoshop into my old photo. He is going to keep this picture forever. I can hardly wait to see who is stripping for me next Friday!!! I LOVE the people I get to work with!

He also took a screen shot from our web site and added some additional training that my company now offers as a result of yesterday’s F.T.B. seminar that was held in my office - this cracked me the hell up!

You cannot read it in that photo, but it says:

Flick The Bean Special This Month

We are pleased to provide this titillating new training class on the latest advancement of FTB, as we like to call FTB 2.00, A Techy’s guide to the magic marble. Our “Special” instructor Misty will thrill and delight you with her in depth training information and hands on training session. Please bring cameras for the class photos and future internet postings. Snacks and refreshments will be served. Looking forward to all those that can participate.

I am sorry, but this shit just NEVER stops being funny.

First let me start this post out by stating that if you are easily offended or disgusted by any talk about masturbation or female parts, then you should probably not continue reading. Also, if you are my mother, you too should not continue reading… well, just because.

A co-worker and I have been cracking up the last couple of days over the term “Flick the Bean” or as it will now be referred to from hereon out “F.T.B.” I cannot remember how we originally got on the subject, but it has not stopped and it is so funny to me that I laugh to the point of tears whenever he says it. We happened to be discussing it when another co-worker walked up and did not get what it meant. After repeated hints, without actually coming out and telling him, he still did not get it, so my co-worker says “Oh come on, don’t tell me we are going to have to teach you all about the little man in the boat!” I LOST IT…. but not as much as I lost it when he drew a diagram of it for a couple of us on my white board in my office today.

I cannot stop laughing about it. My boss came in and looked at my board and shook his head, turned around and walked out as he muttered under his breath “Oh Jesus, I don’t even want to know!” As if that was not enough, when he was drawing it, he asked me to look up if he spelled “queef” right and when I typed it into Google, Wikipedia came up with an entry for “Vaginal Flatulence” - they seriously had an entry for it and gave it other names it could be referred to as, like “Vart” - O.M.G. - I was crying, CRYING I tell you!!!

THEN… just when I calmed down and tried to get back to work, I received and email from a client of mine that works for a local construction diving company with the subject “The things you find on the internet!” - and attached was an old picture of me that he had gotten from my Flickr account, and that he had photo-shopped a stripper into.

I was cracking up - he did a damn good job! I called him and asked him how long it took him to find a picture of a stripper in that position and he laughed and said, “I found that on the first try, it was like I was meant to make that picture for you!” - HAHAHAHA!!!

Okay, I am done.  I seriously need to get some work done now!

Ugghh, I am so tired.  I feel like I have been hit with a brick.  I have great April Fool’s Day stories, but I will have to type them up tomorrow, I am too tired tonight.  Nighty Night!