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MommaK is hosting a funny “Worst School Picture” contest today.  So I started going through what pictures that I could find (without having to drive to my parents house or open boxes in the attic).  Now, MommaK rejected my pictures and said they weren’t ugly enough (I’ll have to dig deeper), but it became very evident that I have not changed at all.  I think I will probably look the same until the day I die.  My friend Nadine has joked me about this for as long as I can remember.  Now you can too – I can’t let all my hard work go to waste!

UPDATE:
Nadine posted some of her pictures (hilarious) and one of them happens to be her 9th Grade Dance picture.  We showed up wearing the same damn dress - which was a complete surprise.

When we were growing up, we always had soda in the house.  My mom would keep the soda on top of the refrigerator, so that it wouldn’t be so easy for us to grab, forcing us to have to ask for some.  When I was older and could reach the soda myself, I developed a really bad habit of grabbing a bottle and swigging directly out of it, instead of pouring myself a glass.  My mom HATED this, and would yell at me all the time to stop swigging from the bottle.

One day, I came in from playing outside and ran over to the fridge.  I reached up and grabbed for one of the soda bottles so that I could take a quick swig and get back outside.  I happened to grab a 7-Up bottle.  I unscrewed the cap, put the 2-litre to my mouth, tilted my head back and started swigging.  It took me a couple seconds to realize that what I was swigging was NOT 7-Up.

Apparently, the last time my mom had made Fried Chicken for dinner, she funneled the old, nasty, used chicken grease into an empty 7-Up bottle and instead of throwing it away; she put it on top of the fridge with the rest of the 2-litre soda bottles. 

Words cannot describe how disgusting that grease tasted.  It was thick and smelled like chicken.  I could feel all kinds of floaty chicken things in my mouth.  I immediately threw up all over the kitchen floor.  It was days before the queasy feeling left my stomach, and the memory of the taste will never completely be gone.  My mom had NO sympathy for me, she simply said, “Guess you won’t be swigging out of the bottles anymore, will you?”

NO – I WOULD NOT BE!!!