From Dwight Schrute’s (Office Space) Blog:

May 10, 06:02 PM
When Ninjas Attack!

Every year, when spring comes, my mind goes to one place and one place only, Ninjas.

Every time you read about Ninja’s attacking somebody or assassinating some public figure, it seems to happen in the spring. I’m not sure why, it’s just the way it is.

Maybe it’s the fact that the spring is traditionally the new year in most pagan religions. It is also the Persian festival, “Naw Ruz” or “New Year”.

Whether it is a throwing star to the neck at a bowling alley, a poison spike that sails through an open window and lodges itself in the fleshy part of the leg, or a mysterious black-clad figure with a bo staff, perched up on the ceiling of your garage as you pull in your car from your awesome job, ninja attacks can and will happen anywhere and anytime.

And they happen to the best people too. Just ask my cousin Heindl. She has lost 12% hearing in her left ear from one.

Things to remember:

Be alert. Everybody loves a lert. (Ziggy joke)

Check ceilings first, when doing your safety inspections, that’s where they like to ‘hang’.

The best defense against a ‘shuriken’ or throwing star is a good offense. Also, armor.

You will never beat a ninja at a sword fight, one on one. When the Ninja draws his sword, fire your taser ™. A well placed taser ™ will take out even the most deadly of ninjas.

Show them that you know they’re there. Shout out, when entering a new locale or a suspicious locale, “I know you’re there, Mr. Ninja. Your element of surprise has now been taken away” [I’ve gotten many ‘funny’ looks for this kind of preparedness, but so be it. That is a risk I’m willing to take. Are YOU!?]

But most importantly, remember that a Ninja is only trying to kill you if someone has hired that ninja to do so. So for every ass-kicking Ninja trying to take someone out there is some alienated girlfriend, some enemy rival at the workplace or some Japanese feudal lord who has paid that Ninja to kill. Or worse.

I hope this web log has made your spring a more beautiful and restful time. That was the author’s intent. Also, fear.

Dwight Kurt Schrute, Assistant Regional manager, Dunder-Mifflin Paper
Chairman and Founder, Lackawanna County Ninja Preparedness Council

For more Ninja information, you can always Ask A Ninja!

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Today’s Ten on Tuesday is Ten Favorite Photos - this is a tough one, cause I have hundreds of favorites - How the hell do you narrow it down to just ten? Hmm, I will try hard to limit myself to just ten and tell you why I like the photos.  You can click on the photo to see it full size in Flickr.

	

		

		
		
		

		01. Todd Snowboarding:

		This is a picture of Todd snowboarding before we were married. I have 
		always loved this picture, because he looks so darn cute in it, doesn't 
		he? I have a copy of it sitting on my desk at work. If you look close 
		enough, you can see that in this picture he has his labret pierced, back 
		when he was a stud.
	
	

		

		 
		

		 
	
	

		

		
		
		

		02. Todd & Kaiden:

		This picture is of Todd and Kaiden at Bush Gardens. I don't think 
		Kaiden was even two years old yet. When I got this photo back, I could 
		not believe how much Kaiden looked like a little porcelain doll.
	
	

		

		 
		

		 
	
	

		

		
		
		

		03. Todd & Ashton:

		Here is a picture of Todd and Ashton, when he was about 9 months old. 
		This picture is so great because of how hard Ashton is laughing. I 
		cannot even remember what was so hilarious at the time, but you can just 
		see the belly laugh in this picture.
	
	

		

		 
		

		 
	
	

		

		
		
		

		04. Todd & I On Our Wedding Day:

		This is a picture of Todd and I on our Wedding Day, April 28, 2001. It 
		was a fun wedding, we got married in my dad's church and had the 
		reception at the Officer's Club at Dam Neck on the beach. This was one 
		of the best pictures from that day.
	
	

		

		 
		

		 
	
	

		

		
		
		

		05. Kaiden In Her Onesie:

		I absolutely love this picture of Kaiden. She was sitting on my bed and 
		I stood over her and took the picture. Her eyes look so pretty in it and 
		you can just start to see the curls coming in.
	
	

		

		 
		

		 
	
	

		

		
		
		

		06. Ashton In His Onesie:

		This was my attempt to re-create the magic in the above picture of 
		Kaiden with Ashton. His is B&W, because I was taking a B&W photography 
		class at the time, so I developed this one myself.
	
	

		

		 
		

		 
	
	

		

		
		
		

		07. Todd & Kaiden:

		I took this picture in the backyard of out first house and when I got it 
		back from being developed, I fell in love with it. It was such a perfect 
		picture of a father and a daughter.
	
	

		

		 
		

		 
	
	

		

		
		
		

		08. Kaiden On The Couch:

		Another one of Kaiden in a onesie - I tell you what, I could NOT get 
		enough of the onesies - I loved them. I love this picture just because 
		of how sweet her face looked. I think about this picture in my head when 
		she is screaming that I am the meanest mommy in the world.
	
	

		

		 
		

		 
	
	

		

		
		
		

		09. Kaiden & Ethan On The Boardwalk:

		I don't think that this picture even needs an explanation - I mean come 
		on, look how cute it is. This is Ethan and Kaiden walking hand in hand 
		on the Virginia Beach Boardwalk during the Neptune Festival.
	
	

		

		 
		

		 
	
	

		

		
		
		

		10. Ashton:

		This picture is a favorite because I love how sweet Ashton's face looks. 
		He looks like such a handsome little boy here.