Most days, Dena and I show up at the kid’s Montessori school at the same time.  We go into the play-zone, round up the kids and head upstairs to their classroom to get their stuff out of their cubbies.  While she and I get the stuff and chit chat, the kids are usually chasing each other in the hallway and acting like they have extreme cases of ADD.

Yesterday, we were walking out of the classroom and I see Kaiden coming out of the men’s restroom in the hallway.  I asked her what she was doing in their and she replied “playing with pee-pee.”  To which I replied, “Kaiden that is disgusting, stop talking like that!”  Just then, Ethan comes out of the bathroom and has something pink in his hand.  Before we can even ask what it is, we both realize that it is a hot pink urinal cake.

Immediately it becomes crystal clear that Kaiden was not joking and we both start freaking out.  We scream, “Oh my god drop it – DO NOT touch anything – Get back into that bathroom and wash your hands!!!”  And we proceed into the men’s bathroom behind them to help them wash their hands, the whole time yelling how disgusting that is and telling them exactly what they were playing with and screaming god knows what else out of panic.

We finally get them cleaned up and get out of the men’s bathroom, back out into the hallway and take a second to breathe, just to break out into hysterical laughter.  Not two minutes after being in the hallway, a man comes scurrying out of the bathroom, with a bright red face.  He tries his hardest not to make eye contact with us, and then runs down the hall and into the stairwell.

Well that was it – WE LOST IT!  I was laughing so hard my chest hurt and I had to lean up against the wall.  The kids thought we had gone nuts.  That poor man was in that bathroom on the shitter the whole time, while our kids were in there playing with the urinal cakes, while we chewed them out and while we escorted them back in to wash their hands.  He was probably wondering how the hell he was going to get out of there. 

Finally we calmed down, got out of the building and loaded the kids in the car.  I made it two minutes down the road and was trying to have a serious conversation about how disgusting what she did really was, when she busts out with “Well, Ethan licked it.”  Now I have to call Dena and let her know that her son licked the urinal cake – and the laughter starts all over again!  We are hands down the best moms EVAH!

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My weight loss has stalled at 28 pounds and it is starting to really tick me off, so I have decided to step it up a notch and add a second workout to my daily routine.  Now I will be waking up at 5:30 to do Taebo and then either running 3 miles at night or becoming a slave to my elliptical trainer.  I did the Taebo this morning and I can already feel the burn in my upper legs and in my ass.  I am pretty positive I will not be able to walk tomorrow.

So if I do not post tomorrow, it is because Billy Blanks has killed me by making my legs hurt so bad that they have fallen off my body and I am not able to move.

Well, I got smacked by the nice folks over at IT2M. If you are not familiar with this site, you should go check it out, you will definitely get a few laughs. Basically you submit your site for review and they either “smack” it if it is liked, or rip you a new ass if it is not liked. So if you do submit your site, make sure you can handle some criticism!! Charred did my review and here are his comments:

This review is for soapbox.SUPERSTAR.

Really.

I promise.

This template is actually rather decent; while the color scheme is not something I’d use, it’s a long way from tasteless. The Web Divas have done a good job implementing your design.

I Do have a few issues with the layout, though:
For someone who claims to be “anally organized,” you sure do have a lot of crap in your sidebar; simplify it.
If you insist on having your sidebar justified-right, then your renter’s screenshot should also be justified-right.
17 posts displayed on your front page is a bit much.
The pictures leading off your posts should be centered.
At least you have the good sense to keep them all the same size.

I hate animated gifs with a passion.

Your content’s ok, but not great.

Punch it up a bit.

In my last review, I recommended Keys for Writers: A Brief Handbook by Ann Raimes. I will repeat that recommendation, and add Writing With Style: Conversations on the Art of Writing by John R. Trimble.

As far as my sidebar goes, I have seen much worse, but I will see what can be skimmed down. I am not sure where you go in EE to change the number of posts displayed on the front page. I am a very visual person, so I love putting pictures with all my posts. Some blogs I have gone to have nothing to catch your eye and make you want to read them. I do like doing the pictures as animated gifs, because it takes up less room.

All in all it was a great review and I am thankful for Charred’s constructive criticism! And for smacking me, he has given me one more thing to stick in my sidebar (HA!)

Does everyone have these Liberty Tax offices where they live?  If so, do the ones in your area employ wacko, drunk people to stand outside dressed up to wave to everyone during tax season?

I CANNOT stand these people and every time I see one, I get the sudden urge to sharply turn my steering wheel and take them out.  There are several of these around my office and on my route home.  One office near me has a guy that looks like he is homeless, and most definitely is drunk off his ass that goes onto the median in the middle of the road and tries to break dance and moonwalk while waving.  Twice I have seen this idiot fall into the road causing cars to slam on there breaks to avoid running him over.

The other location that is on the way home rented those Moon Bounce things and had about 20 grown adults in those Liberty costumes jumping in them – I am not exaggerating that number – 20!  That many adults in a Moon Bounce just is not right.

What the hell is wrong with this company that they would think that these people will actually bring in the business?  If anything, I would NOT go there, because of all the freaks they have out front.  I was wondering what these people actually get paid and what requirements they have to meet, so I did some digging and it appears that they get paid anywhere from $6 to $8 dollars.  One ad was requiring that the person be bilingual, although I am pretty sure that a hand wave is the same in all languages.  Here are some of the ads (in case anyone is looking for employment):

Need energetic individual to work as Lady Liberty, waving to traffic to market Liberty Tax Service, the third largest tax prep company in the US. Hours are 9:30AM to 4:00pm, Monday thru Friday and some Satrudays, Rain or Shine, hot or Cold. Seasonal work January to April 17,2006.  Must be able to provide own transportation. Minimum age is 16.
-Job location is Marietta Ga.
-Compensation: $7.00 per hour plus a potential bonus based on length of stay.
-This is a part-time job.

Audition to be our famous Lady Liberty
Male and Female, Energy and Enthusiasm a must!
Join the fastest growing tax service, ever!
-Compensation: 8.00/hr
-Hiring Organization: Liberty Tax Service

Looking for a Bilingual, energetic person to promote our business. We need someone who can work weekends from 10AM to 6PM (Saturday and Sunday) maybe some late afternoons during the week. Get paid to wave.
-Job location is Middle Village
-Compensation: $7.00 and hour plus a bonus for everyone who comes in and uses our service.
-Hiring Organization: Liberty Tax